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untanglingwebs
El Supremo
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When weak Black men kill strong Black women
Chuck HobbsNovember 20, 2018Uncategorized Post navigation
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My anger with toxic masculinity has morphed into apoplexy this morning after learning that at the center of yesterday’s hospital shooting in Chicago was yet another domestic violence situation turned deadly.
The top row in the picture below depicts three talented, successful and beautiful Black women who have been killed over the past six weeks by the Black or Black-ish men depicted on the bottom row. Men who, at some point, “claimed” to love these women.
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I invoke their names (top, from left): Dr. Tamara O’Neal, Angela Bledsoe, and Aisha Fraser Mason. The latter two were both alums of my graduate school alma mater, Florida A&M University. This morning, even in my anger at these senseless deaths, I pray for their families, friends, and colleagues who will endure this holiday season–and every season hereafter–without their physical presence. A void, mind you, that is due to the evil and selfish acts of the three obdurate souls whose obsession with control turned into murder and mayhem.
Men, the fault in these and similar murders lies squarely upon the trifling ass men doing the killing, and a culture that promotes gun and other forms of predominantly male violence in various ways.
In my estimation, nothing, I mean NOTHING, that happens in a relationship warrants a woman being stabbed or shot multiple times in their homes or at their places of employment. Neither arguments, nor infidelity, or lack of sexual passion in the home grant ANY “man” a license to kill any woman. In my opinion, a “man” who cannot subdue or level his passions is no man at all and trust you, me, when I tell you as a veteran lawyer that the majority of “men” like these ones pictured above are not “crazy,” they simply are controlling, manipulative, murderous malcontents who pop off and abuse women on the regular.
To that end, it is up to real men who are disgusted by these trends to step to their male kin, friends, frat brothers, lodge brothers and colleagues who exhibit the same warning signs as the three unnamed killers shown here, and check their evil selves with words, religious texts, or pushes toward counseling or mental health treatment, if needed.
We at Hobbservation Point pray that these three Sisters rest in eternal peace…
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Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:19 am |
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untanglingwebs
El Supremo
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Brothers, only we can stop toxic masculinity and violence toward Black women
Chuck HobbsApril 17, 2017Uncategorized Post navigation
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Dear Strong Black Brothers:
Like many of you who have seen the footage, it was extremely difficult to watch Steve Stephens murder 74-year-old Robert Godwin Sr in cold blood on a video feed this weekend. “Horrific” is too weak to define what I saw on tape, particularly considering that had my own father not died of cancer 17 years ago, he would have been close in age and may have even looked something similar to Mr. Godwin, a loving father and grandfather whose life was snuffed out by another Black man who seemingly has gone mad.
Yes, mad, I say; mentally ill, unstable, cray, sick AF, whatever term one uses to describe someone who has moved past the realm of rational behavior to the irrational.
Brothers, for all of the bodies that I have seen in varying stages of decomposition while viewing crime scene photos and autopsy pics through the years, nothing I have viewed comes close to the macabre spectacle of seeing Stephens cavalierly squeeze off a round at point-blank range to end Mr. Godwin’s life.
While the Cleveland police continue their “manhunt” for Stephens, I cannot lie about my feelings that go from “I hope they light his ass up on sight” to “no, he has to be afforded due process of law.” My former thought stems from my base human nature, one that understands the primal desire for vengeance. Such is the same instinct that I felt when Dylann Roof killed nine Brothers and Sisters at Emmanuel AME a few years back.
But my more urgent instinct this morning also centers upon the elephant in the room–toxic masculinity among Brothers who physically, mentally and sexually abuse Black women and in the most extreme cases, kill Black women or helpless bystanders based upon a potent mixture of toxic masculinity and mania.
Over the past 10 days, Cedric Anderson walked into a San Bernardino, California elementary school and opened fire on his estranged wife, Karen Smith, killing her and her eight-year old student, Jonathan Martinez. If you listened to the audio of Stephens’ tape from this weekend, before opening fire on Mr. Godwin, he boldly declares that he is killing this random, helpless, and harmless man because he was angry at some yet to be identified girlfriend. Since Facebook has quickly removed Stephens’ account, it is impossible to corroborate at least one picture that I have seen of Stephens and a woman whose picture has been blurred that carried the caption “three years I spent with this ..…I wish we never met.”
No, Fugitive Stephens, we wish that Mr. Godwin never had to meet you in your patently unstable state this past weekend…
My Brothers, I know that many of us grew up not quite understanding how to process violence. It is arguably the most toxic of the lingering aspects of slavery in America, the concept that our forebears’ Black bodies were beaten bloody based upon the whims of any White massa or overseer that deemed such necessary to maintain control. Those beatings, coupled with the “spare the rod, spoil the child” mantra that they perniciously used from the Bible, not only established mind control of White master over the Black enslaved, but it led many of our immediate forebears to internalize such behavior and rationalize it as “right” as they beat the brakes off of their own spouses and kids to establish mind control within the family unit.
Through the generations, far too many Black men have taken out their frustrations over being the last hired and first fired or the least paid and least respected on the job, or during Jim Crow, a time when grown Black men were referred to as “boy” by White men who they could not look directly in the eyes or challenge for fear of being labeled “uppity” and receiving a whipping or being lynched, many such Black men often came home and exacted their own form of terror on their wives and children. Indeed, so many Brothers will aver that they “hate” the negative depictions of Black men in the film adaptations of Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple,” but the fact remains that there always have been real life “Mister’s” in the Black community, men who used their prowess to mentally, physically, and sexually abuse their spouses, girlfriends and kids—all in the name of exacting a level of control. Deep down, that is one reason that so many Brothers even chuckle when Ike Turner tells his wife, Tina, to “eat the cake” or when Goldie and Pretty Tony denigrate, dominate and dicker over their “bitches” and “hoes” in “The Mack,” a movie that has inspired more rap artists than I care to count.
My Brothers, on some level, we all are or have been sick, sick, sick when it comes to how we relate to Black women.
I know that some of us who grew up with fathers took brutal whoopins on occasion that we did not deserve from fathers who were brainwashed by their fathers before them to believe that masculinity entailed the authority to lay hands upon anyone who lived under said man’s roof. Some of you may have even seen your father beat down your mother for “talking back” or “sassin'” him, which, serving as a counselor at law, I can attest is behavior that one cannot simply wish out of their psyche no matter how many years have go by.
I also know that some of you Brothers did not grow up with your father at all, and you may have been raised in an environment where you were abused by your mother, a stepfather, or your mother’s boyfriend(s). You may have even seen said stepfather(s) or boyfriend(s) abuse your mom and on some level, you may have internalized this behavior and project the same malevolent acts upon your significant other.
But my Brothers, this is 2017, and to know better is to do better. We cannot erase what we have seen or heard in the past, but we can do better in our own lives while encouraging other Brothers to confront toxic masculinity and/or mental instability by seeking help from trained professionals.
As Black men, we spend so much time among our core friends discussing and debating everything from the profound to the profane. Brothers can sit at a Fraternity or Masonic function, barbershop, or cigar bar and wax philosophically about Donald Trump’s and Bill O’Reilly’s misogynistic behavior, police brutality against Blacks, and whether Lebron James is a better public figure than Michael Jordan, but when the topic turns to how we, as Brothers, process anger, or how we project our anger in ways that hurt our partners along life’s tedious journey–our Sisters in the struggle–we clam up and stick our heads in the sand out of sheer insouciance.
My Brothers, we have to do better. If a relationship is broken, then let it end. You cannot intimidate, harass or beat any woman into loving you and wanting to be with you. Or, once a divorce is finalized, harassment and playing games with the child support or sitting in the driveway of the ex-wife’s new home to intimidate her is simply sick, sick, sick! A relationship built upon physical and mental bullying is no relationship at all, it is toxic and deadly, straight up, and if this message hits you in the wrong way, then you are precisely the type of Brother who needs help.
Or, if you know a Brother who acts in this fashion, then the loving, brotherly act is to step to him and suggest, no, INSIST that he gets help. Such advice literally could prove the difference between life and death…
Respectfully,
Ol’ Hobbs—Your Brother |
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Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:24 am |
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untanglingwebs
El Supremo
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CDC: Black Women Murdered By Domestic Partners More Than Women Of Any Other Race
Black women were also found the most likely to be killed by guns.
Blavity Team
under a min • a year ago
When it comes to a lot of female murder victims, there is the overarching stereotype of the “evil man in the bushes.”
It, turns out, though, that the evil man you know is far more dangerous.
A study conducted by the Centers of Disease Control (CDC) found that over half of all female murder victims are killed by intimate partners.
The study delved into specifics of over 10,000 murders from 2003-2014, and also looked at potential opportunities for prevention methods and racial breakdowns.
The study found that 53 percent of all murders of women (during the years looked at) involved a domestic or intimate partner.
Black women were found to suffer death at a partner's hands more often than women of any other race. 4.4 out of every 100,000 black women are killed by their partners, the study found.
Native American women had the second highest incidence of murder, 4.3 per 100,000 population. White women were found to have a rate of 1.5 per 100,000.
Black women were also found to be the most likely to be shot to death. 57.7 percent of the black women included in the study died of a gunshot wound.
Study authors found that 98 percent of the homicidal partners, regardless of race or method used to kill, were men.
This fits in to what criminologists know about murder. According to the FBI, men are far more likely to commit murder than women. A full 90 percent of known homicide offenders are male.
The study also investigated ways to prevent the murders of women.
Authors found that one in 10 of the murdered women experienced severe violence in the month before their deaths.
The study urged law enforcement officials to use the incidents as avenues for interventions, and as opportunities to steer women towards services that can help them deal with abuse.
While this report was full of sad news, let’s hope that these tragic numbers can lead to real change. |
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Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:30 am |
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untanglingwebs
El Supremo
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https://thehobbservationpoint.com/
"ol Hobbs" landed on my FB page just as my friends and I were talking about how these three women had all been murdered in such a short time. I definitely want to read more of his hobbservations. A good read,
When I was at U of M-Flint I also participated in the Vista Domestic violence work. At that time domestic violence was not separated from other calls on violence. We waded through over 1200 such calls to pick them out and called those we suspected.
One such call I will never forget. The woman told me how she had tried everything but PPO's and the police did not stop the man from breaking into her home and raping her after beating her. That weekend , the woman I spoke to 3 days prior, was in the news. The man had again assaulted her and fell asleep on the sofa. She went upstairs, got her gun and killed him. She went to prison. During that time other women in similar situations also went to prison for murdering their attackers. |
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Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:47 am |
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